Health Insurance Company “Job Listing”

Disclaimer: The health insurance companies had this one coming. Please note that this is not about insurance brokers or anyone who works for an insurance company (unless you’re the CEO) who are just trying to do their jobs. I have a great insurance broker who is smart and caring. This is directed towards “the man” aka the top executives of these companies, the ones who make all of the crappy rules like “preexisting condition” clauses and other wonderful things like that which make it difficult and sometimes impossible for people to get healthcare in our country. This is a very sarcastic “job listing” for health insurance company CEO’s. I wrote this after much stress and aggravation given to me by various insurance co’s (for example being told they didn’t cover my chemotherapy when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, getting four preexisting condition letters in a four week time span, which meant I had to fill out the same form four times in a row & hope that the “powers that be” would approve the dr. visits I had, even after I waited the amount of time told to me by them in order not to have to deal with the preexisting condition clause, things like that). If you’ve ever had any issues with a health insurance company, I hope you enjoy this!
“Calling All Entrepreneurs”
I’m about to present an amazing business opportunity that you won’t want to miss!
Here’s a riddle: What kind of business can you run where you can chargepeople for your services or product, take their money and then decide later on whether or not you actually want to give them the service or product that they already paid for? And here’s the kicker, if you don’t want to provide the service or product you don’t have to give them their money back!
What kind of business can you run where you basically decide if someone lives or dies based on whether or not you provide your service? Sounds like organized crime you say? Oh no it’s much worse than organized crime, it’s the health insurance industry in America! Hmm, come to think of it, it’s one of the biggest organized crime rings in America!
Found a lump that you want to get checked out but can’t even afford the co-pay? Go ahead and ignore it because we’d tell you that we don’t cover the chemotherapy anyway for the very treatable cancer that you just found. Better keep sending us your money though because if we have to drop you and you’re under the age of 19, good luck ducking that preexisting condition clause with your new insurance company. No matter how you slice it, you’re screwed!
We’re looking for fat cat CEO’s in the making who want to make all of the rules and want to take hard working people’s money. Compassionate people need not apply. We really don’t care about people’s health, we really care about how big our wallets are. We’re looking for go-getters who have no regard for other people’s health and well being because bottom line other people’s health and well being aren’t good for our bottom line.
Are you sadistic? It’s ok, you can admit it, it’s fun to make sick people squirm and what better way is there to make them squirm than to deny them their health insurance? Is there a black hole where your heart is supposed to be? Are you lacking empathy, sympathy and compassion, then you’d be a perfect CEO for the health insurance industry! Don’t delay, call us now!

(Find me on Twitter @JennGDonohue)

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